I know what you’re thinking:
Wait, give me a minute! I put my version together in an easy, short format! It’s just a bunch of numbers, pictures and ShamWows!
Order now and I’ll throw in 5 Bonus ShamWows at no additional cost! And if you don’t like the post, I’ll give you a full refund and you get to keep the bonus ShamWows!
What the hell is a ShamWow anyway? Oh my, I googled the term. Whatever you do, don’t look at Urban Dictionary’s definitions. Of course, I linked to it because I want you to look at it. You always learn something new over on the good old UB. I use learn in very loose terms here…
Now I’m distracted. You will be too if you just clicked on that link. I’m sorry. Ugggh…
And wow (or should I say ShamWow), this post has really taken a turn for the worst. I’m soaring to new depths of stupidity. Hey, at least this isn’t a typical year-in-review write-up where I toot my horn about blog traffic, my favorite post, blog income or all of the amazing accomplishments of my children. Hell, if the younger one remembers to change her underwear daily, I put put a big X in the win column. Set the bar low and you have nowhere to go but up. Or should I say butt.
Have I hit rock bottom yet? I think so.
You realize that the time you’ve spent readiong this drivel are precious. You’ll never get it back. You’re also not getting even one ShamWow out of the deal.
It’s OK to click away and never return. If you think that I’ve really wronged you, leave a nasty comment. I’ll cry a little, but don’t worry about me. I’ll be